Sample Quotes for August, 1998
Taken from The 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said and sequels,
by Robert Byrne
- "Start every day with a smile and get it over with."
- W.C. Fields
- "It's relaxing to go out with my ex-wife because she already knows I'm an
- Warren Thomas
- "My grandmother is 70 and still doesn't need glasses. She drinks
right out of the bottle."
- Henny Youngman
- "I don't pray because I don't want God to know where I am."
- Marsha Doble
- "Pregnancy is amazing! To think that you can create a human being
just with things you have around the house!"
- Amy Foster
- "My mother was an authority on pigsties. She would look at my room
and say 'This is the worst pigsty I've ever seen.'"
- Bill Cosby
- "I've never been in Who's Who, but I'm featured in What's That!?"
- Phyllis Diller
- "When I left high school they retired my jersey -- but it was for
- George Carlin
- "I spilled Spot remover on my dog and now he's gone."
- Steven Wright
- "Happiness is having a large loving family in another city."
- George Burns
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