Samples archive:  8/98    9/98    1/99

Sample Quotes for April, 1999

Taken from The 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said and sequels, 
by Robert Byrne

"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."
        Mae West

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances of a date on Saturday night."
        Woody Allen

"What do hookers do on their night off, type?"
        Elayne Boosler

"The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 a.m."
        Charles Pierce

"What do you give a man who has everthing?  Penicillin."
        Jerry Lester

"It's easy to make a friend.  What's hard is to make a stranger."

"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.  The rest cheat in Europe."
        Jackie Mason

"It wasn't exactly a divorce--I was traded."
        Tim Conway

"My mother didn't breast feed me.  She said she wanted me as a friend."
        Rodney Dangerfield

"Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected."
        Robert Orben

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